One of the best things about college football season is the utter white trash level of cuisine I find myself gleefully and shamelessly descending into. Then again, it’s not just me. I think the entire South single-handedly could keep Velveeta and Rotel in business for the next 20 years just from one football season alone. 

My all time favorite trashy substance is the hallowed beerita. Passed on to me by a friend from Houston, it is a simple concoction that will either have you knocked out or making life-changing mistakes.

Ingredients - lots of tequila, lots of cheap beer that has no real flavor whatsoever, and a can of frozen limeade concentrate

  1. Dump the can of frozen limeade into a 1/2 gallon pitcher. 
  2. Refill said can with tequila. To the brim. Yes, this is a bad idea by all means and measures, but no one lives for ever. Do it, you ape.
  3. Fighting against every last iota of your liver’s survival instincts, pour that sucker into the pitcher.
  4. Pour in at least four (4) of the crap beers. Keystone seems to be the weapon of choice for most beerita mixers I know. While it is by all accounts a horrible beer, it doesn’t necessarily have a horrible taste. It doesn’t really have any taste, truth be told. That’s why it’s great to use in place of the water that would normally be diluting the toxic mixture in the pitcher.
  5. Drink heartily. Yell at the men running around on the TV screen. Lose consciousness. Repeat next Saturday.
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